Foreward: Don't Fill Up on Bread!

This is not a Blog About Food...

If you were expecting a Gastronomes tour through the world of Carnivorous delight then i am afraid you have come to the wrong place for one simple reason... Food is my Nemesis.

I am about to start the long and treacherous journey of getting healthy. Salads and Exercise ahoy, one of the side effect of this is that as you try to eat less you think about eating more, in fact you think about food in general... and you begin to question where you stand...

You see our relationship with food didn't start out on bad terms.. we had an agreement, we would continue to eat and it would promise to keep us alive. Obviously we didn't read the fine print...
Food is seen a trustworthy friend, its known worldwide, its celebrated on festivals, its eaten on holidays, sometimes it is even revered on a higher plain than the God or Hero that the holiday is intended for. We dress up to go and eat, presenting food in artistic flair on thrones of pure ceramic and white. We strive and spend to make sure food is constantly taken to a higher level of perfection and while we may hear from the naysayers about the pain and hardship that it is causing we don't listen, its tastes good, how can it be bad for you?

But as our clothes size increases and our muscles begin to work harder to carry us around we can't help but think... are the naysayers right? Is food really working against us?
We ask food to explain.:
"Me? Bad?" its asks, hands raised in mock confusion subtly wafting its heavenly aroma our way sending us into a pure state of bliss.
Of course food couldn't be bad, there must be some other reason.. we take a bite and go on our way.

Soon enough we struggle to get up, pains occur in places they shouldn't and suddenly the opposite sex is not finding us attractive any more. Food is lying to us...
We try and stick to healthy foods, big red ticks assuring us that they are OK, but something is missing, its just not right... it's just no fun.

Out wallets also become a bit lighter, this healthy option seems to cost more...

We sink into a depression, we are overweight, ugly, pimples form from all the chocolate, our skin becomes oily from the steaks... Food is an Evil bitch and we know it...
There's only one way we can solve this... we grab a tub of ice cream and watch an ad for the new ultra flame grilled triple whopper with bacon and a whole pig burger as hot skinny people with very little clothes and rock hard abs sit on a beach. We take a large spoonful of Double Choc Rocky Road and think to ourselves... "Why has it come to this?" as we tip the tub upwards catching the melted drips of chocolate. We already know the answer....

Blame society.

I guess this was about food after all.... sorry about that.


"Smile, like you've got nothing to prove, no matter what you might do there's always someone out there cooler than you." - Ben Folds