Chapter 5: Feeding the Masses a big dollop of Controversy!

Ok... just need to get a few things off my chest, you may not agree with me... but thats not the point, i just want us all to be on the same level here...


Wills Controversial Gripes:

1. I Dont think Michael Jackson is All That:
Ok... now i am not saying this now because he has passed and i want to be edgy or anything, i have always thought this, nor am i saying i dislike him. I do respect what he did for pop music and charities etc. I dont neccicarily think he is a bad person either, a wierd one yes but not bad.
I just dont enjoy listening to him... in fact i would go so far as to say i get bored with him...easily.

If there is one thing i can't stand it is Death Bandwagoners, you know, the people who suddenly becomes the biggest fans of an artist as soon as they die and become newsworthy. These people sicken me, and i have never seen such a large demonstration of it as i did on the Die MJ died. Suddenly people were talking about him as if he were some sort of saint... how he changed their lives. I bet you that if you were to ask them if they liked MJ a few weeks before, they would have said something along the lines of "yeah i guess" at best.
It goes along the same lines with people who are now coming out badmouthing him for similar reasons and i hate these people equally, but there seems to be more of the former.

I am saddened by the loss of Michael Jackson and my sympathys go to his friends and family and to the people who truely loved him... but i am not saddened by the death of his music... i am not going to like it any more than i did before.


2. The Church Pisses me off
I guess i am Christian... i beleive in Jesus and God and that third thing....i believe in the afterlife and hey i sometimes even listen to christian rock.... but i dislike the church... REALLY dislike the church, more than i dislike "Beat It".
See my problem with church is the control structure, the idea that we are meant to let other people tell us what to believe, we have to sit there while they spout their two cents about how they think that gay people should burn in hell or whatever... i cant stand it. My faith is my own, it is mine to interpret how i see fit, who are these people to tell me what to beleive. They are nice people but the whole system to me is a little medievil.
Even more so i hate religious camps... these are the bane of my existance, and i should know i led at a whole bunch of them. This is the purest form of brainwashing... take some little kids, play games, make them think its "fun" then you sit them down and tell them about your beliefs, and then to really work it in you get them to sing repetitive songs with simple messages...
Their minds are young and maleable, perfect for moulding.

As i look back i feel i need to make an adjustment... by Religion i am mostly talking Christianity and Catholisism.... and well any religion that involves Evangelism... these people need to take a long hard look at themselves...  Faith is a persons choice... let them make it. There is not a single person in cicilised society that doesnt know about you so stop trying to trick them into joining you, you are no better than cults.


3. Stop selling me "Organic" you stupid Hippy:

I am anti organic... organic being the stupid food terminology not the actual definition of anything carbon based....
Ohh... organic orange... looks disgusting... but its organic and its double the price. Sold.
People are getting stupider and stupider and this is just proof. I even saw "organic water" the other day... this just coonfused me on many levels.
The fact is that by the time fruit reaches you it has been through so much washing and preperation that most of the pesticides have dissappeared... and how many people do you know have died from pesticide poisoning?

All i have to say on this topic is...

Fuck off Hippies...


phew.... i am shaking with anger.... i cant even be fucked checking spelling...


Next one will be happier.
Lemme know your views on these issues... lets get a bit of audience participation here...

Chapter 4: “Dad Another McDonald’s!”… “Son I don’t give a Shit!”

I remember a while back having a discussion with a good friend about Road trips… we were about to partake in one and talking about it seemed to increase the excitement so we kept talking… eventually the question arose…
“What is the key moment/element that makes a Road Trip so Good?”

A Road trip to me consists of 2 or more people taking a journey of 2 hrs+ driving. For instance a trip with 3 ppl traveling from Sydney to Terrigal is just as much a road trip as the same amount of people traveling from Sydney to Queensland. One person driving around Australia in my mind does not make a Road trip, just a really long drive…
When deciding to take a road trip a few things need to be considered…


Vehicle:  Make and quality are important… remember you are going to be in this metal box for some time so you want it to be comfortable. This does not mean the car has to be flash, it just needs to be roomy. Of course oil needs to be checked, fuel filled etc… but always consider comfort… it will make things a lot more enjoyable for not only your guests but for you too.

Music: Very Important… I cannot stress this enough… Pick Good Music! Conversation can only go so far and eventually people are going to want to hear some tunes. Music is all about emotion, you want to pick tracks that will create the right mood. Make mix CD’s that fit different moods and label them accordingly or if you have an ipod make sure you are not jumping around. If you want a chilled road trip play some Bon Iver, or some Jack Johnson… if you want excitement and revving up then play some Living End or some Prodigy… Make sure your music is to everyone’s taste… if people don’t like your track then skip or compromise with the next song.
Songs that people can sing along to are also highly recommended.

It is best to pick someone who has broader tastes in music to pick the tracks…. And most of all the “I’m the driver I pick the music” rule is crap… all passengers need to be happy or expect a social mutiny.


Companions: Pick your passengers if you can… Especially if the trip is going to be 3 or more hours. If you are a loud person then take loud people, if you want intelligent conversation then invite the more intelligence inclined.
This should usually come naturally as people of similar personalities tend to be friends but make sure than you work out seating arrangements as one odd one out can really lower the mood of a trip and make it seem like an eternity.


Food: Do a snack shop before you leave or at the first pit stop… do this as a group and make sure there is drink too. This is no time to care about your upholstery.
You need sugar, you need caffeine and you need them earlier than later. That’s all I need to say about that.


The truth is that Road Trips can be some of the best moments of a trip, everything is fresh, there are so many possibilities ahead of you and anything could happen which is why when I was asked what the Key moment of a Road Trip is I answered:

Just as you pack the car, reverse out of the drive and take off down the street as that first song starts to play and the jelly snakes open… that’s the moment, that’s the best part of the trip because at that point nothing is impossible…

Happy Road Tripping…

   

Chapter 3 : Fruit on a Pizza a Pizza is not.

I love lychees..

Those who know me well will be shaking their heads as they read this... because when i love something i let people know.


I have loved lychees for ages. Mum used to bring home bags of them from the shops, they would be devoured by the first 10 minutes of being placed in the Fruit bowl.
Dad used to come in and spot the bag, his eyes would light up... maybe this time there would be some left. There never was...
No lychee was left uneaten, even the small sour rejects were taken, they were lychees and i showed no prejudice.

This love affair ended when i was about 19. For some reason mum stopped buying and soon Lychees and i grew distant. I found other loves, Watermelon, Grapefruit, Mango...

It wasnt until earlier this year, as i took a trip to the Asian Supermarket that lychees and i reunited, things had changed, i was older and wiser, and it was...well... canned. But in the change i found new things to love... the fact that i didn't have to peel, the heavenly syrup to drink at the end... the convinence. I was on love again, and it was stronger than ever.

Suddenly i began seeing lychee everywhere, lychee ice tea, lychee Liquor, lychee flavored Easyway with lychee jelly topping, lychee lollies, Lychee Ice Crean... and today... Smart Water... tropical lychee flavour.
Lychee is everywhere to be seen... and i couldnt be happier... well thats what i should be saying. The problem is that lychee is giving me too much love.
I am beggining to have a lychee problem.

Too much of a good thing is not good at all... i am beggining to feel the symptoms of getting sick of lychees. This is a major concern for me, i dont want to be sick of lychees, i dont want this relationship to end...
I have started seeing other fruits on the side.
I have stopped buying Canned Lychees.

I will still keep up appearances, ordering the lychee milk tea with lychee jelly... but every now and then i'll get peach....

I have not had a fresh lychee in over a year...

I know that one day me and lychees will be like we used to be... but right now we need to be apart...
Sometimes space is what is needed in a relationship, sometimes you need to let the other be in control of their own lives... so that you can come together again and it will be magicall..

Bet you didnt expect a relationship lesson at the end of that one huh?



“Damn those Russians and their so-called "lychees". I don't remember the last time Darth Vader ate a lychee. Because he doesn't have teeth.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lychees

"They damaged my respirator."

~ Darth Vader on Lychees

 taken from Uncyclopedia.