Chapter 3 : Fruit on a Pizza a Pizza is not.

I love lychees..

Those who know me well will be shaking their heads as they read this... because when i love something i let people know.


I have loved lychees for ages. Mum used to bring home bags of them from the shops, they would be devoured by the first 10 minutes of being placed in the Fruit bowl.
Dad used to come in and spot the bag, his eyes would light up... maybe this time there would be some left. There never was...
No lychee was left uneaten, even the small sour rejects were taken, they were lychees and i showed no prejudice.

This love affair ended when i was about 19. For some reason mum stopped buying and soon Lychees and i grew distant. I found other loves, Watermelon, Grapefruit, Mango...

It wasnt until earlier this year, as i took a trip to the Asian Supermarket that lychees and i reunited, things had changed, i was older and wiser, and it was...well... canned. But in the change i found new things to love... the fact that i didn't have to peel, the heavenly syrup to drink at the end... the convinence. I was on love again, and it was stronger than ever.

Suddenly i began seeing lychee everywhere, lychee ice tea, lychee Liquor, lychee flavored Easyway with lychee jelly topping, lychee lollies, Lychee Ice Crean... and today... Smart Water... tropical lychee flavour.
Lychee is everywhere to be seen... and i couldnt be happier... well thats what i should be saying. The problem is that lychee is giving me too much love.
I am beggining to have a lychee problem.

Too much of a good thing is not good at all... i am beggining to feel the symptoms of getting sick of lychees. This is a major concern for me, i dont want to be sick of lychees, i dont want this relationship to end...
I have started seeing other fruits on the side.
I have stopped buying Canned Lychees.

I will still keep up appearances, ordering the lychee milk tea with lychee jelly... but every now and then i'll get peach....

I have not had a fresh lychee in over a year...

I know that one day me and lychees will be like we used to be... but right now we need to be apart...
Sometimes space is what is needed in a relationship, sometimes you need to let the other be in control of their own lives... so that you can come together again and it will be magicall..

Bet you didnt expect a relationship lesson at the end of that one huh?



“Damn those Russians and their so-called "lychees". I don't remember the last time Darth Vader ate a lychee. Because he doesn't have teeth.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lychees

"They damaged my respirator."

~ Darth Vader on Lychees

 taken from Uncyclopedia.